This is the part where i say STOP!

I really did not get it…

My dilemma involves me getting involved (at least I know I am) with several guys. It’s just that I think the guy and I are into something, and then suddenly, I’m all alone.

I guess one of them was right – “I think you’re just masking… I think you’re emo when you’re alone…” One thing, the concept of Emo is really vague to me, what is it? Another thing, I don’t think I’m that sad to be classified as such…. Weird, actually.

Since then, when I realized I like guys, I always ASSUMEd. Assumptions are not really bad, I think. The part that really gets me is when I get so caught up within the moment that I forget that I am drowning in my own assumptions. It’s crazy, and stupid, and unhealthy.

This semester, the second for this school year, guys were inevitable and irresistible. I got close with my crush, but I guess things were too slow making me shift to other guys. Honestly, I do not want something skin-deep…carnal. I want something that’s real; I guess I have been playing in the fields far too long.

I am writing this one, not to name the guys I got involved with (or so I think), but to just let myself go with this (emotionally) unhealthy deed.
I would want to think that the things I’m feeling are just driven by the moment…. I don’t want to think of it as the long-term thing. Actually, the thing that I want to change is my easy-attached-self. I super want that out…and I am sooo going to start as soon as I got my bearings on.

How would I do that? I don’t know. I just want things to just fly away.
This is sooo getting boring. I might give this one another try next time. Not in the mood for writing, something that good.

I’ll inform this page when I get to figure myself out. I hate this.