Ok. So I guess I was wrong when I personally decided to stop blogging, because I need a place where I could just be honest and be blunt about my thoughts and feelings. Ugh. Hate it.
Anyway, back to blogging, this entry will be done to make you, whoever you are, catch up with my life.
Ok, so my last entries were about my uncertainties about this guy… and the things that came along with it. I was so sad then, and I guess I am too stupid to let things like those happen to me.
For the past nine months of not blogging, so much has happened. Things that I didn’t think would happen, but they did, and I am, at a certain degree, satisfied.
For the months of March and April, I tried my hardest to lift my second probation status. How hard did I try? Hmmmmn, my motivations did not measure up to my actual output, if I may. I did not know, then, that I was dismissed in school, but I got the hunch, and at the same time, the ambition to find work experience for my eventual employment.
This summer, after that Semester, I asked my Mom about possible jobs for the summer. I polished a rough resume, and got the things that I needed to find a job for the time being. So my friend, Ron, and I went to the Barangay Hall to ask for any possible listings for a job. The barangay lead us to the City hall, which eventually leads us to the SSS Main Branch in East Avenue. There, Ron and I found our summer job.
Getting into SSS was easy, though some of the applicants were pulling some weird stuff and using sympathy and family-related reasons to get in. I know its kinda “Wowowee”, I guess they wanted it that bad to be pulling out pictures and telling stories of how they were close to their family, blah blah blah… Ugh. I swear, I think I would throw up if I did see someone cry over that thing. Ugh. Moving on, the internship required us to wear business clothes so I had to buy, oh, and for the record, I don’t like it, though I know I look good. Hahahaha! LOL!
The Internship was a great help for me, though I think I could’ve done more. I was up at 5 in the morning to prepare myself for the work that involves typing, photocopying and changing sticker dates. I know it’s kinda boring if you think about it, but then again, I got to be used to it. After sometime, I was elected as the leader of the batch, and I headed the committee for the closing program and eventually gave the final speech as a representation of the whole batch. Along the way I met amazing people and one of them is Rain. I don’t know what happened, but I was almost in love with him for sometime. Good thing we remained good friends.
The after that summer, June came, along with the bad news. I failed two major subjects, all in the reason that I wasn’t attending class for those specific classes. That caused my delayed for another one and a half year. I would not blame anyone for this, because I, of all people, caused this delayed. The delayed forced me to work for another semester, from August until November.
I worked at Sitel in Baguio, for the Tribune account (Chicago Tribune, Hartford Courant etc.). Amusingly, I was one of the top agents that why I was laterally promoted as a floor-walker, also I had phone times for accepting Supervisor-requested calls. It was fun, and it gave me the hope of an earlier promotion both as a Coach, or a Learning Specialist. But, I had to resign eventually, so no promotion for me.
I resigned on November, and got back into school that same month. I never thought I would miss school so much. I miss the thrill of being young, for work makes me old, I mean, feel old. Anyway, I got in but I am still under probation, and I have to pass all my subjects enrolled. I’m kinda worried though that I may not do well, and eventually get kicked out of school. But I will try really hard.
What’s bumming me is a boy. Again. I know, every year, no, every season, there is someone. I call him Milky… like the milk you buy in cartons. Yeah, like that!
Anyway, I met him through orgmates (people who I am with in an organization) last July, and I initially had a crush on him. When I got back from work, I got his number, and we started hanging out. We watched New Moon, Surrogates and Jennifer’s Body together, and I guess we both had fun. He stays in my house until late hours, and we SMS even though we are just beside each other. But you know what I hate most about him? Though there is nothing to hate more, he is passive, like “Kayo po bahala” (It’s up to you), “Ok lang po” (Its ok) passive, and it’s driving me insane. Like, am I the only one going out here? We are going out, and all you can say are those phrases?! Ugh. I am almost, tired… really… almost, but not quite.
I don’t wanna believe that I am in love with him, because I’m not. I think I just like someone beside me everytime, and also I like it that he is looking for me. It’s like I miss this feeling that someone needs you, is looking for you. Oh, and for the last time, I’m not in love, I think. So what about him? I know his passive, and that’s his nature, but it’s kinda putting me off… but I can’t do anything about it. So might as well leave him be or leave him?! I don’t know.
Another thing that puts me off is the fact that he is being “harassed” (exaggerated, I know) by another upper class student. I am in my sixth, and he is in his first year, the stalker of Milky is a fifth year student which is classmates with me in two classes this semester - quite irritating actually. Although I know I have to stay civil, until I don’t know, until I lose my liking for Milky? I don’t know.
I plan to leave Milky alone this January, but I don’t know if I wouldn’t need him. All I know is that I am happy when I am beside him, walking endlessly, aimlessly, directionless.
That’s it I guess, for now. Have an amazing Holiday reader! Take care!
